“An Implausible, Poorly Written Dystopian Novel”: I Didn’t Know the Half of It

Tom Janssen / The Netherlands

This is apparently not from The Onion:

Trump Says His Normal Cognitive Ability Will Help Solve North Korean Situation

President Donald Trump said Wednesday that his predecessors let the North Korean nuclear situation fester because he’d be better suited to handle it, given his normal cognitive abilities.

“I guess they all realized they were going to have to leave it to a President that scored the highest on tests,” he told Reuters in an interview.

He was presumably referring to his doctor telling White House reporters Tuesday that Trump had aced the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, which includes tasks like naming animals underneath pictures of them, identifying one’s current location and drawing clock hands.

Not to mention tapping your hand when you hear the letter “A.”

All skills that he apparently thinks his predecessors lacked.