A Republican Senator’s Alternatives, or, Scylla Looks Pretty Bad, Guess I’ll Take Charybdis

Scylla and Charybdis

In other words, to avoid being eaten by Dear Leader Scylla, I guess I’ll just risk sinking in the Charybdis whirlpool of public disapproval.

That’s how the punditariat are reading all 53 Republican senators, and their predictions may well come true. But, actually, they do have some other choices—choices that may look bad, but are not unreasonable, if you step back and consider things rationally.

One, they could resign.

Two, they could announce that they will not run in the next election.

Three, for some of them, it might be feasible just to change parties. With the Democrats supporting them, along with ten percent of the Republicans, they might actually win the next election.

Four, they could just do the right thing, and hope for the best. I would argue, that’s far from an unreasonable choice, even for a cynical politician. Wargame it out. Whatever you do, Trump will be acquitted by the Senate. Trump will immediately begin to manifest far more depravity than he has shown to date. By the fall of 2020, with Trump’s increasing depravity, things are going to look pretty ugly for Trump and his bootlickers. And you are going to look like goddamn Nostradamus and Mother Theresa, rolled into one.

Not exactly a lead pipe cinch winner for you. But I have seen far, far worse bets.

So, dear Republican senators, here’s some really good advice:

Here’s One Dedicated to Chairman Schiff and All the Democrats Aiming to Do It by the Book

Alas, there is apparently no Norwegian cover for I Walk the Line, so let’s substitute the Finnish version.

The Finnish rendition is slightly softer in tone than Johnny Cash’s prison performance.

And speaking of jail, let me end with this parody version, which I dedicate to the Jim Jordan: Because I’m swine, I must resign.

This One’s for Moscow Mitch and His Kentucky Supporters

Norwegian singer Aslak Gjennestad gives really special treatment to That Old Mountain Dew.

Pappa Aardvark enjoyed playing That Old Mountain Dew on his harmonica. Another treasured memory is listening to him sing Little Brown Jug. I think it reminded him of those golden, but somewhat indistinct, years before Mamma made him stop drinking.

Here, the Norwegian Army Band serenades us with its own rendition of the song. (Reminds me of the witticism that military music is to music as military justice is to justice.). Take it away, Norwegian Army Band!

For those of you who did not have the good fortune to sing this song in your childhood years, here’s the original version.

This One’s for the Trump Base

Norway’s answer to Okie from Muskogee

I have no idea what they were singing. But here’s the original from Merle Haggard.

Or, maybe the Norwegian musical artists took inspiration from this fine, fine work by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.


A big Norwegian country music hello to today’s music lovers from Canada, the Czech Republic, Germany, Ireland, Singapore, South Africa, South Korea, and the United States. The KGB, apparently, lacks interest in country music, so I have no Russian readers as of this hour.