Heigh Ho the Derry-O, The Cheese Stands Alone

It is Halloween evening, 2019. Here at Happy Acres, where we like to enjoy our second childhoods by playing dressup, the guy at dinner in the Trump mask was a real hit. By now, the children are out trick-or-treating. Round midnight, the real witches will come out for their annual witch hunt. And here is how matters seem to stand this evening, after the House voted this morning on impeachment procedures.

First Fallen Defense: Dispute What the Evidence Is

The evidence piles up and keeps on piling up. By metaphorical reference to the last impeachment exercise, we are at the stage where the blue dress has been located. And, yes, Trump’s semen is—again, speaking metaphorically—all over the dress.

Second Fallen Defense: Dispute What the Evidence Implies

By now, it has been widely noted that virtually none of the empty-suited Republican pols that the evidence shows Trump pressuring the Ukrainian government to make Biden and the Democrats look bad. And that this pressure was exerted by, among other means, withholding vitally needed military aid from a country under invasion.

Third Fallen Defense: Dispute the Moral Judgment to be Drawn from the Evidence

To the extent they’re talking at all, most of the empty suits are not questioning that it was a very bad thing for Trump to extort and bribe the Ukrainian government in this manner.

An Observation from My Daughter, Pollyanna


Given the above, it is a shocking thing that the empty suits and their constituents are not already calling for Trump to be drawn and quartered. This circumstance has caused Michael Gerson to have a sad.

But as my daughter, Pollyanna Aardvark, pointed out today, the glass is actually half full. She presciently observed that it’s both surprising and gratifying that the empty suits have, at this point, come as far as they have come.

Heigh Ho the Derry-O, The Cheese Stands Alone

However, the Cheese—Donald J. Trump—is still disputing what the evidence is, how the evidence is to be interpreted, and the moral judgments to be drawn from the evidence.

This posture arises from the fact that the Cheese

  • does not know the difference between right and wrong,
  • is severely delusional, and
  • embraces a form of magical thinking in which reality can be altered by throwing words at it.

The Fourth and Final Defense: It Was Bad but it wasn’t Impeachably Bad

Today, those empty suits who aren’t hiding under their desks are beginning to come around to this fourth and final defense—the one that ultimately saved Bill Clinton’s sorry ass from removal from office.

And So, We Reach an Inflection Point

Will Trump—who is severely delusional, who doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong, and who embraces magical thinking—permit the empty suits to advance the only argument that might save him?

Or will lizard brain viciously turn on any empty suits who try to support him by making the only possible argument: it was wrong, but it wasn’t impeachable?

And if lizard brain does turn on his own party’s representatives in Congress, how will they respond?

Trust me, if I knew the answers, I would be happy to share my knowledge.


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