Alternative Defenses, Blueberry Pies, and Three-Year-Olds

The time has come for Trump to lay out his defense to the charge that he used military aid to extort and bribe Ukraine.

With that thought in mind, let’s do this thought experiment. Let’s say you are a three-year-old named Al. Mamma has made some blueberry pies, but she has stepped out of the kitchen. You’re hungry and eat one of the pies, leaving evidence all over your face. Mamma comes in and demands an explanation. You have four possible lines of defense.

  1. Admit that You Ate the Pie, But Offer a Justification

For example: “I was starving, and. the blueberry pie was the only food I could find.”

  1. Admit that You Have Blueberries All Over Your Face, But Offer an Alternative Narrative

For example: “My big brother is the one who actually ate the pie, and then he rubbed some blueberries on my face to make me look guilty.”

  1. Admit that You Ate the Pie, But Argue that Spanking Your Butt is Unwarranted

For example: “Did you know that many studies have shown that spanking kids’ butts causes permanent psychological injury?”

Or maybe this: “Eating blueberry pie is not nearly as bad as all the other things I thought about doing.”

Or this: “When Bill Clinton was little, he ate blueberry pies, too, but he didn’t get spanked.”

But, since you are a three-year-old, you do not offer any of the above defenses. Instead, you pick number four:

  1. Just Stand There and Deny There is any Blueberry Pie on Your Face


Good day to the nice folks in Finland, India, and Thailand, who checked out this blog while I was busy writing my earlier posts this morning. They have joined early morning (US time) readers from Austria, Kenya, and the United States.