Time to Burn those MAGA Caps

Speaking ex cathedra, Joe Scarborough infallibly predicts that Trump’s followers will follow Trump, not the blowhards fulminating over DACA. Many others beg to differ.

Who is right? The results of the upcoming Republican Senate runoff in Alabama—heretofore known as Trump’s Kingdom—are likely to be very instructive. Trump has endorsed the Republican establishment candidate, the aptly yclept Luther Strange. (If Charles Dickins were writing a novel about Alabama politics, he would nave named this character Luther Strange. Am I right, or am I right?)

The establishment’s panicked push for Strange has allowed his even stranger opponent, Roy Moore to make these points. (These verbatim quotes give a good sense of the lay of the land.)

Roy Moore is endorsed by Dr. James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family; Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty; Chuck Norris of Walker, Texas Ranger; former Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and former US Senate candidate Trip Pittman – Luther Strange is endorsed and bank-rolled by Mitch McConnell, the one insider who has single-handedly sunk the Trump agenda to repeal Obamacare and pass meaningful tax reform.

Judge Moore is an outsider loyal only to his God and fellow Alabamians – Luther is bought and paid for by Washington insiders and elites.

Roy Moore is a proven voice for the values and people of Alabama – Luther Strange is a proven yes-man for Mitch McConnell.

Yes, there is a clear choice for Alabama. It is Roy Moore.

Either because of the fact, or in spite of the fact—you choose which—that the stranger candidate is polling ahead of Strange, Trump has at long last yielded to the cries of panic from the Washington swamp monsters, and has scheduled a rally for Strange in Huntsville.

Will Trump actually visit his kingdom in support of Strange? Will his voice be full throated, or will he hedge?

Will Trump’s Alabama subjects once again be led by the nose? Or will they absorb the message that Trump’s DACA reversal shows him to be a fraud, a turncoat, and just another critter from the Washington swamp? Will they finally understand that they have been the victims of a giant con?

Decades ago, the folks who have been Trump’s Alabama subjects were Aardvark’s people. But I left Alabama—in more ways than one—so I cannot say with any great authority what these folks are now thinking.

But here’s my sense of it.

Alabama’s white voters have indeed loved Trump, but they have loved him because he gave voice to their overwhelming sense of cultural and racial victimhood.

You have to be pretty mean to want to kick the Dreamers out of this country. I think that in Alabama, a lot of folks are that mean. (And for that, I pity them.)

I wasn’t able to find Alabama-specific polling on DACA, but there are clues. One is that Alabama’s attorney general was one of those who threatened suit to force Trump to revoke DACA. Another is that it was long time Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions who announced Trump’s decision to give in to legal pressure and revoke Obama’s DACA program.

Yet another clue is that, when Sessions made that announcement, all the elected Republicans expressed support: surely, they thought that their anti-DACA stance would please their constituents.

Do Alabama’s white voters love Trump, or do they love their litany of grievances and fear of outsiders? I think I know the answer.

Mean though they may be, I don’t think Alabama voters are stupid. I think they always knew that Trump was a jerk–they just believed he was THEIR jerk. But now, strong and loud voices from the extreme right are telling them that Trump is a con man.

Time to burn those MAGA hats.

Strange and Stranger


Or, as Martin Luther Put It, “Hic Sto”

In a welcome development, all around nutjob Congressman Mo Brooks, recognizing a fellow spirit, has endorsed bigger nutjob Roy Moore for Alabama Senator. In Mo’s own words,

“Elections are about choices. In this Senate race, the choice is Luther Strange or Roy Moore. Martha, my wife, and I have made our choice.” Congressman Brooks said holding up his absentee ballot. “We didn’t wait until Sept 26th, we have already voted absentee for ROY MOORE!” he added.

He continued, “This Senate race is down to this: we are in an epic battle between the people of Alabama who put America First and the Washington Swamp that hopes to buy Alabama’s Senate seat and put America Second! All of America is watching Alabama to see who wins. I can’t speak for anyone else, but, as for me, I stand with America! I have voted for Roy Moore because Roy Moore not only stands with America, he will fight for America! I urge you to join that fight. Defend Roy Moore’s reputation and character from the nonstop, malicious lie of the Strange/McConnell forces. On September 26th, vote for Roy Moore….and make sure your friends and family members do, too. Do it because America’s future depends on it!”

Throughout the civilized world, those favoring the utter humiliation and destruction of the Republican establishment cried, “Huzzah! Huzzah!” We have money to flood Alabama with bumper stickers saying,




A Song for the Climate Change Deniers

It is Sunday morning, September 10. Hurricane Exxon has just made landfall in the Keys. It will barrel through Florida, and then veer into Alabama.

Aardvark weeps.

I take no joy whatsoever in saying this, but it sure looks like the storms are taking direct aim at the gullible climate deniers and Trump voters.

The Still Small Voice

Still small voice

It is Friday morning, September 8. I hear tell there has been some weather down in Texas.

Down Mexico way, the earthquake of the century.

In a day or so, Hurricane Irma is going to turn Mar-a-Lago into little tiny matchsticks.

Sometime next week Irma will bear down on Happy Acres.

* * *

And behold, a great and strong wind has rent the island of St. Martin, but the LORD was not in the wind.

And after the wind, an earthquake in Mexico, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.

And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire.

And after the fire a still small voice.

And the voice said,

“Yo, numbnuts! Cut the carbon already!”