My Baby Just Wrote Me a Twitter
By the Capitol Steps, to be sung to the tune of My Baby Just Wrote Me a Letter:
Gimme me a ticket for an aeroplane
My girlfriend is gettin’ so inane
Forty times today
On my PDA
My baby, she wrote me a twitter
Every two minutes somethin’ else to tell
What the hell’s the meaning of ‘LOL’?
But she loves her shampoo
And lately, it’s makin’ me bitter
So I wrote her a letter
Said that it would be better
To talk like we ought
But she can only twitter
‘Cause 140 letters
Is her limit on thoughts
I’m leaving home, all my bags are packed
But my tweet hawk deserves all the facts
Since I can’t commit her
I’ll just send a twitter
(spoken) Let me see… ‘I-L-Y-F-O-B-S’
(spoken) ‘I-L-Y-F-O-B-S’? Does that mean ‘I love you forever, oh beautiful sweetheart’?
(spoken) No, it’s…
‘I’m leaving you for our babysitter’
From Andrew Sullivan, The Pope and the Pagan. Thanks once again to Hans.
Blessed are the winners: for theirs is the kingdom of Earth.
Blessed are the healthy: for they will pay lower premiums.
Blessed are the rich: for they will inherit what’s left of the earth, tax-free.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for oil and coal: for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciless: for they are so, so strong.
Blessed are the liars: for they will get away with it.
Blessed are the war-makers: for they will be called very, very smart.
Blessed are those who support you regardless: for theirs is the Electoral College.
Blessed are you when others revile you and investigate you and utter all kinds of fake news about you. Rejoice and be glad, for the failing press is dying.
From German TV last night. Props to Hans.