Dear Fellow Rednecks,
I regret to inform you that you have been victimized by a great hoax. I also regret to inform you that the perpetrators of this horrific hoax were not the Lamestream Media, not the liberal Democrats, not Bill Gates, and not George Soros and the Rhymes-With-You-Know-Whos. (Hint: they killed a famous religious figure.)
No, ladies and germs, the perpetrators of the great hoax—that would be the hoax that is now threatening your lives—were in fact Donald Trump and Faux News. And the great hoax about which they informed you is itself a hoax. You have been had. You have been well and truly screwed, blued, and tattooed.
This morning, I am indebted to old friend Vasari for pointing me to this news: CNN, Dozens of Mississippi lawmakers have coronavirus aafter weeks of refusing to wear masks.
I bear them no ill will. I wish them all a speedy recovery.
But whatever my wishes may be, I cannot keep them from suffering the consequences of their willful choice not to use their reason and to be guided by science.
The Hoax Hoax: the consequences are coming soon to a city or town near you.