Tulsa’s fire marshal has now told multiple news outlets that his peeps counted just under 6,200 attendees. That’s his story, and he’s sticking to it. The campaign has told CNN that the real number must have been in the neighborhood of 12,000.
Everybody agrees that the arena has 19,199 seats, and that lots and lots of them were empty.
The campaign claims that a million people applied for tickets. It also claims that it expected every seat to be filled, and that it expected huge overflow crowds. And it admits that these expectations were not met. Bigly.
The campaign also claims that Trump supporters who didn’t show were a bunch lf snowflakes—intimidated by media reporting that they would be putting their lives at risk. It also claims that a lot of the folks who did show were also a bunch of snowflakes, who, despite the assistance of the Tulsa police and the obvious lack of violence outside the arena, lacked the courage to get past the Black Lives Matter folks and into the venue.
In other words, about 90 percent of Trump supporters are a bunch of weenies, according to reliable sources inside the campaign.
Also, there’s a possibility that teenage pranksters were issued a whole bunch of the 19,199 tickets. This, however, would reflect pretty badly on the campaign, so they don’t admit it.
Occam’s Parsimonious Shave
There are various plausible reasons for the no shows. The parsimonious explanation is that, in Tulsa and surrounding territories, there are only six to twelve thousand idiots willing to put their lives at grave risk to feed Orange Man’s ego.
They ran an experiment. They tested the very outer edges of idiocy. And those were the results.
Now, it’s time to replicate the experiment a few more times, just so we can all be reasonably confident about the outcome.