Alexandra Petri—who else?—imagines the scene:
[Lincoln steps onto the field at Gettysburg and produces a speech.]
Four score and seven years ago,
[A cannonball whooshes overhead.]
our forefathers brought forth on this continent
[Several cavalrymen go galloping past, scattering pages of the speech.]
a new nation, conceived in liberty
[A Minié ball whistles narrowly by, knocking off the speaker’s hat.]
and dedicated to the proposition
[A loose artillery horse rushes over in a state of confusion, gets its legs tangled and knocks over the podium.]
that all men are created equal.
[The remainder of the speech flutters uselessly to the ground.]
[The noise of many tramping feet draws closer.]
And now we are here to dedicate a portion of this field
[“Steady, men!” cries a voice of command.]
in memory of what a good job we have done
[“Hold your cannon fire!” another voice yells. “Wait for their approach!”]
in this battle that is clearly past.
[Bugles blow and drums rattle.]
[Serried ranks of men begin to make their way across the open field, banners waving in the afternoon air.]
[From behind the fence, the rifles open fire.]
