The Mandatory Michigan Maelstrom and the Mandate of Heaven


Politico, ‘Biden can finish Bernie off in Michigan’: The next big state on the primary calendar is looking dicey for Sanders

Especially, one might suppose, if Warren doesn’t get out of the race before next Tuesday.

Last Saturday night, as we relaxed in front of the teevee, Dr. Aardvark said, “You know, we need to give Biden a hundred dollars.” “Yes, we do,” I replied. “Do you want me to go around to the computer in the mancave and do it right now?” She said she did.

As we watched the results last night, Dr. Aardvark allowed as how we needed to give Biden some more money. “Two hundred dollars this time?” I inquired. “Yeah,” she said, “that sounds about right.” Back to the mancave again, where sucked up my money much faster than I can wash my hands while singing God Save the Queen.

And so, Joe, pardon my repetition, but here’s my message for you:

You have stepped forward to hold yourself out as the person best positioned to save our democracy. It is a brave and courageous thing you have done.

You have sought out the Mandate of Heaven, and the Mandate of Heaven is by way of descending now on to your elderly shoulders.

Joe, just don’t screw this up.

Not because we gave you some money. But because you stepped up to save our democracy, and now it’s up to you to do it.

For the love of God, Joe, DO NOT SCREW THIS UP.