New Hampshire Has Spoken—and What Have We Heard?


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The first thing we have heard is that, like Iowa caucus goers, the voters of New Hampshire have only a tepid enthusiasm for democratic socialism. In 2016 Bernie won 60.1 percent of the votes in the New Hampshire primary. This time, with almost all precincts counted, he’s winning 25.7 percent. (Or, if you feel the more relevant comparison is Sanders + Warren 2020 versus Sanders 2016, then that would be 34.9 percent versus 60.1 percent.)

Either democratic socialism has lost a lot of appeal as a matter of substance, or, more likely, it has lost a lot of appeal because of electability concerns. Either way, it definitely appears to be losing its appeal.

Ain’t Gonna be Joe or Elizabeth

The second thing we have heard is that people don’t want to vote either for Joe Biden or for Elizabeth Warren. Biden and Warren are both perfectly nice people, and I am sorry they didn’t do better. But now Pocahontas and Sleepy Joe need to listen to vox populi rather than their own egos, they need to get the hell off the stage, and they need to go sit with Andrew Yang on the sidelines—so that the 20.4 percent who supported Biden, Warren, or Yang can decide whom they are really going to support.

Whoever gets the most support from this 20 percent should get the nomination. I’m guessing a whole lot of it would go to Amy. But, like the man said, your guess is as good as mine.

Don’t Want No Straight Lilly White Y-Chromosome People

The third thing we have heard is that Democratic voters are not too keen on straight, white, male candidates who worship in, say, the Methodist Church. The remaining viable candidates are Sanders, Buttigieg, Klobuchar, and Bloomberg—who, by the way, is definitely not buying the election.

In other words, a woman, two Jews, and a gay guy.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a very good thing.