Alan Dershowitz, Who “Kept His Underwear on During the Massage,” and Ken Starr, Disgraced Ex-University President, Join the Defense Team

Let’s all go to the bar—either the one in Star Wars or the one at the Trump Hotel. If you’re a solitary drinker at the end of the bar, here’s some good reading:

Martin Longman, Trump’s Legal Team Is a Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

From time immemorial, port cities have been “wretched hives of scum and villainy,” so why should spaceports be any different? That was the theory behind Mos Eisley, home of the famous bar scene in the original Star Wars. And why should Trump’s International Hotel in Washington, D.C. be any different? It’s a gathering place for every kind of crook and scoundrel. As Lev Parnas told Rachel Maddow, “It was like a breeding ground at the Trump hotel.”

And why should Trump’s legal defense team not follow suit?

Tim Miller, The McSally Maneuver: At this point, the goal of impeachment is simply forcing Republican senators to admit the truth.

They all know Trump is guilty. The only question is whether or not they can avoid admitting this, out loud, before they vote to acquit him. Every action Republicans take in the coming days should be viewed through the lens of them casting about for a strategy that lets them avoid telling voters what they actually believe.

Alexandra Petri, Sure, whatever, let’s have witnesses. Maybe that’ll finally convince me Trump is guilty.

Honestly, send me the witnesses! Sure! Screw it!

I thought I was at a point where no fact, however compelling, could possibly break through my blissful fog of ignorant support for President Trump, but — I’d love to be proved wrong! I’d love to feel anything at all at this point, other than the warm and spreading conviction that President Trump is the only good, that President Trump is identical with Right, that there is no party but the Donald.