There Shall be Showers of Blessings

… For the Tax Preparation Industry

This morning, a truly invaluable member of my posse has called my attention to this story: The House passed a bill banning the government from creating ‘free’ tax-preparation software like TurboTax, forever. The story emphasizes the bipartisan nature of the impetus to screw the taxpayer—and the related bipartisan nature of the generous contributions of the taxpaying industry like TurboTax and H&R Block. I believe my friend may have seized on this information as yet another occasion for cynicism.

I, on the other hand, view this glass as half full, or maybe more than half full. In my estimation, it provides a shining example of what Big Greed can achieve when it gets over its infatuation with Big Racism—and, instead, just buys everybody.

That’s how things were back in the good old days at Dewey Cheatum & Howe. The Dewey Cheatum Good Government PAC made no ideological distinctions. We gave with a generous hand to politicians of all persuasions, for the far right to what passed for the far left. Pols of all genders, ethnicities, religions, and sexual orientations benefitted from our largesse. Our lobbying competitors, marveling at our success, were left behind to eat our dust.

At Last We Will Find the Oranges!

Meanwhile, in other good news, WILLIAM BARR GIVES TRUMP WHAT HE WANTS, FORMS TEAM TO INVESTIGATE THE F.B.I: Rep. Jim Jordan said the reported investigation is what Republicans have “been calling for.”

Yes, those hidden oranges will all come to light.