North Carolina Baptist Preacher Admits Violating the Eighth, Ninth, and Tenth Commandments; Calls for Election Do Over

Ten Commandments

The Reverend Mark Harris has just admitted that he coveted election to the Hourse of Representatives (as a Republican), employed an operative to steal the election, and bore false witness under oath about his effort to steal the election—only to be caught out in testimony from his own son.

He attributed these peccadillos to medical problems.

And, just to put the icing on the cake, his lawyer withheld documents that were subject to a subpoena.

Faced with these minor setbacks, and mindful of all those Perry Mason shows he had watched in his you, the Revered Harris stood up at the hearing, confessed error, reversed course, and urged the North Carolina Elections Board to call a do over election in the ninth congressional district.

As of this writing, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and Politico have all reported the above, but the matter has not yet come to the attention of Fox News.

Also unknown at this hour is whether the Very Reverend Harris will take another pass at the election.

This actually happened. It is not from The Onion or from the Borowitz Report.