Sunning Their Livers, Making Silly Arguments

sunning their livers

My father loved to speak in homespun metaphors. For him, “sunning your liver” meant engaging in incessant, mindless chit-chat. I think it’s a fine turn of phrase.

This afternoon, I wish to protest that far too many talking heads are talking nonsense. I know this sounds as if I think I am smarter than everyone else. Not so. But my desire to avoid the appearance of arrogance is overtaken by the need to call bullshit where I see it.

“It’s Highly Debatable Whether a Sitting President Can Be Indicted”

No, ladies and germs, that proposition is not legitimately debatable at all. It should be  obvious to anyone of the meanest intelligence that there are foreseeable circumstances in which an incumbent president would and should be subject to indictment. The point is so obvious, as an abstract matter, that even to pretend it’s debatable is to insult your own intelligence.

That said, whether or not it’s sensible and prudent to indict a particular president for a particular crime is a matter of judgment and discretion. Just as legitimate prosecutorial discretion should come into play in deciding whether the indict someone who cleans bathrooms for a living.

“Someone Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Steal an Election Through Election Law Violations and Then Cite His Incumbency as a Defense”

Righty-ho, as an abstract proposition.

But the truth of the abstract proposition does not in any way prove the accuracy of this concrete proposition:

“Trump Stole the Election by Paying Off Loose Women, Thus Concealing His Adulterous Affairs”

No, friends, given what was known of Trump’s character and behavior by the November, 2016, election, not a single, solitary vote would have changed even if twenty bishops had sworn they saw Trump paying hush money to Karen and Stormy, two financially motivated, large-breasted, middle aged women who had consensual sex with The Donald.

Trump’s voters did not give a tinker’s damn that he bragged of sexual assault—a very different proposition than consensual sex for money—or that 11 women came forward to charge him with sexual assault. They would not have cared about Stormy and Karen.

“But Trump Thought the Voters Might Care about the Tuties, So He Committed a Criminal Campaign Violation by Organizing the Payoffs”

Could well be true. And the boys and girls in the New York federal prosecutors office might even be able to persuade a jury to accept this view of Trump’s mental state as true beyond a reasonable doubt.

“The federal prosecutors in the Southern District of New York are very anxious to indict Trump, so an indictment is inevitable.”

No, it isn’t. Whoever is running the Justice Department would need to approve.

But that raises an interesting point. If the boys and girls over at the Southern District of New York prosecutors office are hot to trot—and that certainly appears to be the case—and if permission is denied, then, won’t they be hot to indict their boss for exercising his powers in a corrupt manner?

The answer is: yes, they will.

William P. Barr, Esquire, is the kind of person who will have reasoned all this through. I don’t think he plans to get caught in a trap.

I reiterate that the man and his confederates have something up their sleeve.