The Man from France

pierre

In today’s news: Macron calls Australian leader’s wife ‘delicious’ — and demonstrates the perils of diplomacy in a foreign language

A nun told me this joke fifty years ago:

Pierre was visiting the United States. His hosts invited him to a cocktail party. One of the guests, making polite conversation, established that Pierre was married and then went on to inquire whether he had children.

“Mais non,” replied Pierre. “Alas, my poor wife, she is inconceivable.”

From his interlocutor’s expression, Pierre realized that he had not found le mot juste. Trying again, he amended, “What I meant to say is that Marie, she is unbearable.”

The other guest looked even more astonished. So Pierre backed up and tried one more time: “No, no, the thought I was trying to express is that Marie, she is impregnable.”

Trump Hires Real Lawyer, Maybe

dat money

Emmet T. Flood, Esq., is exactly the sort of person that a president in deep doodoo hires to help him escape from the shithole.

He is the sort of lawyer a bullshitter might hire when all of his bullshit proves unavailing, and he resolves to buckle down and get serious about defending himself.

I was surprised to learn an hour or so ago that Trump has decided to retain Mr. Flood, and that Mr. Flood has agreed to be retained.

But we will see what we will see. A reliable source reports,

Mr. Flood’s hiring has not been made final, the people cautioned, noting Mr. Trump’s practice of reneging on personnel decisions after they are reported in the press.

It was not clear what prompted Mr. Flood to sign on. ,,,

No, itwasn’t.

Massive Leak!!

Nobel

Sources close to the President have leaked an advance draft of Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech:

Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, distinguished members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee:

I have received a lot of honors — like, a lot. I was on the cover of Time more than anybody else. I went to the best schools. I was elected president on my first try. It was the biggest electoral college landslide since Reagan. But people tell me this is a big honor — the biggest, maybe. And I think this is very good for you, because your ratings are going through the roof right now. This crowd is much bigger than Obama’s was. …

I love Norwegians! I want more immigrants from Norway and others who have the same merit-based complexion that Norwegians have. Why are we having all these people from shithole countries? Why do we need more Haitians? Take them out. They all have AIDS.

Read it all here.

The Grossest with the Mostest

nose

Congratulations, Donald!

In 466 days, President Trump has made 3,001 false or misleading claims.

Not only have you passed the three thousand lie milestone, but your daily prevarication rate is accelerating rapidly as well.

Meanwhile, from Chris Matthews via Politico: “I’m Not Sure Trust Is What People Want from Trump.”

Well, no shit, Sherlock.

With his excursion into birtherism, Trump learned, and we all learned, that there is a very large audience for unabashed racism, loudly proclaimed by a celebrity. Certainly, among the target audience there is a degree of economic discontent, a degree of reaction to elite disdain, and so on, and so on. But it’s becoming clearer with each passing day that racism is at the root of it all. That is what makes Trump’s lies so comforting.