Alexandra Petri ‘Splains It All


Rudy Giuliani has violated the Trumpworld canon:

It would be petty to accuse Donald Trump of lying. He is doing something more complicated. He has been painstakingly constructing a fictional universe over the past 30 years. (Happy Star Wars Day, Internet!) He has built a world full of colorful, mustachioed characters — some doctors, some lawyers, some national security advisers — in which he possesses supernatural powers, a secret identity (John Barron), and wealth and health that cannot be measured using ordinary tools. He has also been elected president of the United States.

Nobody is lying in Trumpworld. The facts are evolving. The canon is constantly being revised in order to satisfy passionate fans, and the haters can suck it up. …

The boundaries of Trumpworld are controlled only by the Word of God (Trump, its creator). His statements alone carry weight, until they don’t. …

This is the reality-TV kind of reality where, in post-production, you can unsay anything. If Trump hadn’t been elected president, he would still be building this world in his basement.

If this were simply real life or simply fiction, it would be much easier. But Trumpworld is a fictional universe in which real people are being forced to live. So you cannot say something either happened or did not happen. You must check with the Creator to see whether it happened, and sometimes his answer will change mid-sentence. Somebody who thought she was familiar with the plot points will make a statement that seems to logically follow, and it will turn out that she did not know what she was talking about.