Alexandra Petri explains the many, many reasons why we may be certain that Paul Ryan can’t possibly have made a deal with the Devil:
His piano-playing has not improved. He has not become any wiser. He has not been able to travel widely and see the great sights of the present and past. Helen of Troy has not made him immortal with a kiss, and he has not gotten to go to a single witches’ sabbath (although he has heard continually about witch hunts).
He has not become able to fly. (Scott Pruitt has, and Tom Price has, often, and at great expense.) There is no picture of him in a closet that ages and becomes hideous while he himself remains boyish. …
No, there can have been no deal with the Devil.
