Proof that Paul Ryan Made No Faustian Bargain

Faust Devil

Alexandra Petri explains the many, many reasons why we may be certain that Paul Ryan can’t possibly have made a deal with the Devil:

His piano-playing has not improved. He has not become any wiser. He has not been able to travel widely and see the great sights of the present and past. Helen of Troy has not made him immortal with a kiss, and he has not gotten to go to a single witches’ sabbath (although he has heard continually about witch hunts).

He has not become able to fly. (Scott Pruitt has, and Tom Price has, often, and at great expense.) There is no picture of him in a closet that ages and becomes hideous while he himself remains boyish. …

No, there can have been no deal with the Devil.

The Devil at least makes a point of giving you something you want in return. Trump has no such scruples. He is happy to take your labor, for months, and then walk away, leaving you with a shattered reputation and an agreement with no signature on it. Ryan may have given away his soul, but he has started to wonder, as Stormy Daniels did, whether Trump even bothered to sign his side of the thing.