What Kinds of Clients Hire Asshole Lawyers?


Jeffrey Toobin’s take on the shakeup in the Trump legal team is worth a read. One important but unsurprising takeaway: yes, he’s about to try to fire Mueller. The others you can read for yourself, if so inclined.

Having dwelled among my shyster brethren and sistern for some decades, here is what I have learned. Wise clients tend to hire wise counsel. Ethical clients tend to hire ethical counsel.

Clients who are jerks and cowboys tend to hire jerks and cowboys—despite the fact that the jerkish clients are the ones most in need of wise counsel.

And oh, yes, character is destiny.

In a related column, Gail Collins asks, “Who’s Worse—Trump Lawyers or Their Client?”

One of the early Trump lawyers, Marc Kasowitz, seemed to be getting crazier and crazier last summer. When a man wrote an email that he should resign, Kasowitz came back with a message that said, in part: “I’m Jewish. I presume you are, too. … I already know where you live. I’m on to you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.”

For a while it looked as if Kasowitz was fading away. But now he’s back! In court arguing that as a sitting president, Trump cannot be sued by a woman who says he molested her during his “Apprentice” days.

That would be Stormy Daniels?

Oh gosh no. This is Summer Zervos, who says Trump came on with an unnerving series of gropes, and then when she resisted claimed “that he did not believe that she had ever known love or been in love.”

The interesting thing about this one is that Zervos is only suing Trump for $2,914 for defaming her when he denied the story. Kasowitz has so far been unsuccessful in arguing that the president’s denial is “political speech” protected by the First Amendment.

So the worse the team gets, the better for the country?

Right now, Stormy’s lawyer is making mincemeat of Trump’s legal representation. For the sake of argument, let’s say the special prosecutor has assembled at least as strong a team as the stripper did.

Could be an, um, stormy summer.