Each Frays a Joule

joule thief

A careful but literal minded reader objects to the headline of the previous post, which reads in part, “Ramses II was a friend of mind.”

The objection is not well taken. Obviously, my point was that Ramses II was not literally a friend of mine, but that, if I had lived in thirteenth century BC Egypt he would have been a friend. And, in consequence, I can imagine IN MY MIND that he was a friend, even though he was not literally a friend.

This is because I am, like, a really smart person. Indeed, a stable genius. And I have very good words. In fact, I have the best words. That is why I never make mistakes.

Another reason why I never make writing mistakes is that I have a spell checker.

THE DEAN’S WORD PROCESSOR

Jerrold Zar

I have a spelling checker,

It came with my PC.

It plane lee marks four my revue

Miss steaks aye can knot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it.

Your sure real glad two no.

Its very polished in its weigh,

My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing.

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

It helps me right awl stiles two reed,

And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

The checker pours o’er every word

To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checkers

Hour spelling mite decline,

And if we’re laks oar have a laps,

We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling

Is checked with such grate flare,

There are know faults with in my cite,

Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does not phase me,

I does knot bring a tier.

My pay purrs awl due glad den

With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet

Of witch won should be proud,

And wee mussed dew the best wee can,

Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays

Such soft wear four pea seas,

And why eye brake in two averse

Buy righting want too please.