Biblical Insight into Roy Moore’s Two Choices


You will recall a recent post on God’s Plan for Roy Moore, wherein I addressed the two choices that Moore had. In that post, I tippy-toed up to the bounds of decency. Thus, I hesitate to delve into the subject further.

Nevertheless, I must report that a good friend and faithful reader—who apparently has way too much time on his hands—has drawn my attention to this biblical analysis of the moral choice between fornication and the self-help method. Read it, if you should be so inclined. Explains a lot.

Men are Idiots

gender gap poll

Recently Aardvark asked his best friend from Alabama whether Moore’s reputation as a sexual predator would help or hurt him among Alabama voters.

Fox News has answered the question.

Among Alabama male voters, seven percent were previously unsupportive of Moore but, having recently learned of his abusive behavior toward underage girls and young women, have now concluded that he is well qualified for high office.

But among Alabama female voters, Moore’s support has dropped by twenty percent.

God’s Plan for Roy Moore

or, Lire Playboy avec la Main Gauche

Let’s say you are a mid-thirties creep living in Gadsden, Alabama. You don’t have a wife. You don’t have a fiancé. You don’t have a girlfriend. You don’t date women your age. You don’t have a wife, a fiancé, or a girlfriend, and you can’t get dates from women your age because you are a creep.

But you are very horny.

So, what do you do?

Well, you have two choices.

Choice One

You can hang out at the Gadsden Mall on Friday and Saturday nights, pester the teenage girls, badger some of them into going out with you, get them in your car, grab them, and stick your tongue down their throats until they fight their way out of the car.

Or you can pick choice two.

Choice Two

Stay home, stick a tape in your VHS player, and just have at it.


Which is the choice that a moral creep would make?

Which would be God’s plan for resolution of Roy Moore’s dilemma?