Help for Korea’s Dear Leader—and for Our Dear Leader

dear leader

Help for Korea’s Dear Leader

Earlier today, I urged the Dear Leader to take inspiration from this speech allegedly delivered during the 1950 Florida senatorial campaign:

Are you aware that Claude Pepper is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert? Not only that, but this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism with his sister-in-law, and he has a sister who was once a thespian in wicked New York. Worst of all, it is an established fact that Mr. Pepper, before his marriage, habitually practiced celibacy.

Don’t know how much English the Dear Leader has, so I asked Google translater to render it into Korean. Here goes:

클로드 페퍼가 워싱턴 전체에서 부끄러움없는 외향적 인 사람으로 알려졌다는 것을 알고 있습니까? 그뿐 아니라이 남자는 시누이와 함께 친족 관계를 실천한다고 믿을 만하게보고되고, 한때 그는 사악한 뉴욕의 한 형제였던 누이가 있습니다. 최악의 경우, 페퍼 씨는 결혼하기 전에 습관적으로 독신 생활을 시작했습니다.

Just to check their work, I then translated it back into English, using different translation software. It came out this way:

No shame in the whole Washington Pepper Claude, who are known to be a healthy extrovert, you know? Not only that, but the man with his sister reported it to believe that the practice kinship, once he had a sister, brother of a New York evil. In the worst case, pepper, before he started his career as a single habit.

Isn’t 21st century technology wonderful?

And, by the way, an amusing, scholarly discussion of the Smathers/Pepper campaign speech and related incidents will be found in Dirty Politics: Smathers, Pepper, and Quasi Malediction in American Political Folklore. (Did you know that my opponent regularly vacillates in public? Were you aware that when he was in college, he matriculated with the female students? And that they even shared the same curriculum?)

coulter trump

Help for America’s Dear Leader

Yo, numbnuts, the next time you decide to take out your willie and have a pissing contest with Kim Jong Un, just remember this:

Never Bullshit a Bullshitter!