Actually, I Think They’re Just Addicted to Their Smart Phones

smart phones

To Aardvark’s ears, it sounds like something from the Borowitz Report. Nevertheless, today we have it on very good authority—there was a study—that, Not drinking or driving, teens increasingly put off traditional markers of adulthood.

Actually, it’s even worse than the headline suggests.

When 17-year-old Quattro Musser hangs out with friends, they don’t drink beer or cruise around in cars with their dates. Rather, they stick to G-rated activities such as rock-climbing or talking about books.

They are in good company, according to a new study showing that teenagers are increasingly delaying activities that had long been seen as rites of passage into adulthood. The study, published Tuesday in the journal Child Development, found that the percentage of adolescents in the U.S. who have a driver’s license, who have tried alcohol, who date, and who work for pay has plummeted since 1976, with the most precipitous decreases in the past decade. …

Between 1976 and 1979, 86 percent of high school seniors had gone on a date; between 2010 and 2015 only 63 percent had, the study found. During the same period, the portion who had ever earned money from working plunged from 76 to 55 percent. And the portion who had tried alcohol plummeted from 93 percent between 1976 and 1979 to 67 percent between 2010 and 2016.

Teens have also reported a steady decline in sexual activity in recent decades, as the portion of high school students who have had sex fell from 54 percent in 1991 to 41 percent in 2015, according to Centers for Disease Control statistics.

What the hell is wrong with these kids?

The article gives a convoluted evolutionary explanation for this odd behavior. The gist appears to be that today’s kids have it so well that they have no need to get a job or start producing children at an early age.

But still I say, what the hell is wrong with these kids? I take the point about being pampered. But what about their hormones?

Don’t they have hormones?

Aardvark remembers.

Aardvark had hormones.