Stars Fell on Alabama

Kid Rock

It has come to Aardvark’s attention that some readers found George Will’s column—see previous post on weather conditions in Hell—locked behind a pay wall.

Will writes of the tempting choices that white people in Alabama have on offer as they go about picking a senator to succeed Jeff Sessions. He reports that three candidates have a chance:

  • Luther Strange, the temporary incumbent, who, Will intimates, exudes the stench of corruption,
  • Roy Moore, the Ten Commandments justice who was twice booted off the Alabama Supreme Court, whom will labels the Ayatollah of Alabama, and
  • Mo Brooks, a nutjob member of the House Freedom Caucus.

Will enlarges on how Mitch McConnell, apparently scared shitless of a Mo Brooks victory, is funneling money to attack Brooks—for being best buddies with Nancy Pelosi and failing to lick Donald Trump’s boots with sufficient enthusiasm.

These attacks, Will avers, are driving Brooks voters to Moore, who may well win the Republican primary—and then, mirabile dictu, lose to a Democrat!

Will concludes thusly:

“Anything that comes out of the South,” said writer Flannery O’Connor, a sometime exemplar of Southern Gothic, “is going to be called grotesque by the Northern reader, unless it is grotesque, in which case it is going to be called realistic.” But, realistically, Alabama’s primary says more about Republicans than about this region. A Michigan poll shows rocker-cum-rapper Kid Rock [pictured above] a strong potential Republican Senate candidate against incumbent Debbie Stabenow. Rock says Democrats are “shattin’ in their pantaloons” because if he runs it will be “game on mthrfkers.”

Is this Northern Gothic? No, it is Republican Gothic, the grotesque becoming normal in a national party whose dishonest and, one hopes, futile assault on Brooks is shredding the remnants of its dignity.