Arius Aardvark Issues Press Release


DATELINE HAPPY ACRES, BLUECITY, REDSTATE: Today, Arius A. Aardvark unreservedly deplored, condemned, rejected, denounced, reviled, and decried the despicable criminal actions of mild mannered progressive James T. Hodgkinson, who shot up a Republican baseball practice.

“I, too, am a mild mannered Bernie Sanders supporter,” Aardvark stated, “and I am also mad as hell.” But, Aardvark added, “Fortunately, my prefrontal cortex, though challenged by myriad headlines every day, is still holding up.”

Asked to cite an illustrative news story that challenges his prefrontal cortex, Aardvark responded by referring to this headline from CNN this morning: House hearing on gun legislation canceled after shooting.