News from an Unimpeachable Source

mar

Embassies to and from Israel to be Relocated to Mar-a-Lago

Vasari reports,

My sources tell me that the Israelis are piqued by the intelligence disclosures attributed to President Trump and are waiting for the US to give assurances 1) that such a breach will not happen again and 2) that Trump will proceed with his promise to relocate the American Israeli embassy, currently located in Tel Aviv.

I am also told that Trump will announce that the American embassy will be relocated to Mar-a-Lago, the site of the American embassy to China, and that the US government will facilitate movement of the Israeli embassy to the US to Mar-a-Largo as well.

Unsubstantiated reports suggest that the American Department of State may be moved as well, creating what Trump calls “A really big, big thing that will bring more and more nations closer, much closer, closer to each other. Big. Bigger than the losing Democrats could think. Small”

A vice-president, nameless but close to the president, is said to have told Fox News that a Florida international community would eliminate the need for the United Nations.

Fox News reported and then denied that smoke was seen rising from the embassy of South Korea to the US.