This, Unfortunately, Is not Funny


Thanks to Martin Longman for pointing out that Trump began his intelligence briefing at 10:30 this morning, but sent out his Nordstrom tweet at 10:51. Guess the info in the intelligence briefing must not have been interesting.

Paul Waldman predicts,

Before you know it, he’ll sign an executive order declaring anyone who doesn’t own a copy of “The Art of the Deal” an enemy of the state. It’ll be like Mao’s Little Red Book, only for sleazebags.

And from The Borowitz Report,

Trump Accuses Media of Not Reporting Voices He Hears in Head

TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering attack on the media, President Trump said on Monday that the press has consistently refused to report the voices he hears in his head every day.

Trump praised the “really terrific information” he gets from the voices, which often speak to him when he is roaming the White House in his bathrobe in the middle of the night.

“They tell me that I won by the most votes ever and had the biggest Inauguration crowd ever,” Trump said. “These are fantastic voices and they’re doing a great job.” …

Trump said that because the voices in his head “keep saying that I’m the best President ever,” he does not expect the media to quote them anytime soon.

“If you want to find out what the voices in my head are saying, don’t even bother reading the newspaper,” he said. “Follow me on Twitter.”