G’day Mate, and Fuck You Very Much


Having injured the president of Mexico in a phone call, Trump added insult to injury in his call with Australia’s prime minister.

Trump’s behavior suggests that he is capable of subjecting world leaders, including close allies, to a version of the vitriol he frequently employs against political adversaries and news organizations in speeches and on Twitter.

“This is the worst deal ever,” Trump fumed as Turnbull attempted to confirm that the United States would honor its pledge to take in 1,250 refugees from an Australian detention center.

Trump, who one day earlier had signed an executive order temporarily barring the admissions of refugees, complained that he was “going to get killed” politically and accused Australia of seeking to export the “next Boston bombers.”

U.S. officials said that Trump has behaved similarly in conversations with leaders of other countries, including Mexico. But his treatment of Turnbull was particularly striking because of the tight bond between the United States and Australia — countries that share intelligence, support one another diplomatically and have fought together in wars including in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Plainly Trump needs help. A good source might be British Foreign Minsiter Boris Johnson, who pinned this ditty about the president of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan:

There was a young fellow from Ankara
Who was a terrific wankerer
Till he sowed his wild oats
With the help of a goat
But he didn’t even stop to thankera.

It is reported that some Britons have objected to this literary effort on the grounds that “wankerer” and “thankera” are not actual words.

Inspired by Trump and Johnson—two peas in a pod, if there ever were two peas in a pod—Aardvark offers this offering to President Trump, who is free to include it in his next diplomatic communication:

The big loser PM of Australia
Put on his finest regalia.
Said he, “I’m so proud,
Cause I’m not well endowed,
And it covers my small genitalia.”

No need to thank me, Donald. No need at all. Happy to help.